All the ‘Feels’ Bring a Message, Mission, Gift

Welcome your feelings when they come. Check if the message matches the moment. If it does, invite it in. Follow the mission. Receive the gift. Breathe, and let it move on.  

Health isn’t only happiness, it’s wholeness.

by Carmen Cartterfield, Primary Therapist, Honeybee Healing & Counseling Services
This article is adapted from Pia Mellody’s concept of emotions and their gifts.

Most of us believe that to be healthy means to be happy. But what if that thought is actually the foundation of our unhappiness?

In our culture, we have been taught that some feelings are good and others are bad and should be avoided. The problem is we don’t get to pick and choose what we feel. So when we feel one of these bad emotions (sadness, anger, fear) our initial instinct is to try to change it.

However, when we attempt to ignore or control our emotional experiences, we are missing important information that our feelings are trying to communicate to us.

Each feeling comes to us bearing a message, a mission and a gift. Stop … listen.


Message: Something has been lost or changed. It may be a relationship, an object, a hope or desire; an expectation of the past or a possibility of the present.

Mission: Honor what has been lost, changed. Grieve it. Share why it mattered to you.

Gift: Healing, awareness, connection.


Message: You’re in danger, something is threatening.

Mission: Find safety.

Gift: Preservation, wisdom, protection.


Message: I have violated or acted outside of my own core beliefs and values.

Mission: To make amends for my behavior so I can be aligned again with my core beliefs, values.

Gift: Values, amends.


Message: Shows up to say your boundaries are being violated.

Mission: Communicate the violation, set new boundaries.

Gift: Strength, power and energy.


Message: There is something in my life exciting and positive

Mission: Celebrate!

Gift: Abundance, gratitude.